Drowning in Excess

Pop. 186, Late Spring of 360 (Year 109)

The dwarves of Relicshield have been a sluggish lot as of late (30 FPS).



With the Mountainhome bursting at the seams from an overabundance of food, ammunition, blocks, and other sundry items, a temporary halt was placed on all workshops. From the surface lumberyards to the Deep Forge far below, production has ground to a halt.



Meanwhile, to bolster the hauling workforce, all reservist militia members have been returned to civilian duty while the fortress prepares to rid itself of the excess it has been drowning in.





Hopefully this will help lift the temporal morass plaguing the kingdom.

The Mahogany Roses

Pop. 186, Early Spring of 360 (Year 109)

Hammerdwarf Rith Earthennourishes passed away in the middle of a training session with the North Watch. As the patriarch of the Earthennourishes, he updated the spelling of the family name once he settled in Relicshield.



Rith was stalwart defender, and defeated 227 foes, the majority of which fell before his steel war hammer, Sezomistbar, "The Mahogany Roses."

By the Numbers

Pop. 187, Late Summer of 359 (Year 108)

The human caravan arrived from the northwest. Their faces were full of fear as they urged their beasts of burden to move as fast as possible. Before they had uttered a single word, the dwarves knew what was coming. Commander Dishmab and the North Watch escorted the humans into the safety of the underground trade network just as a great clamor arose from the western hills, heralding the arrival of the Evils of Spray. At the head of an enemy archer host was an elite crossbow goblin, causing the dwarven reservists on the wall to tremble in fear. Still, they stood their ground and began to rain bolts upon their foes.

Asmel Fissuretour and the West Watch took the fight to the goblins, exiting the West Gate shouting for the blood of their foes. While reservists shot into the fray, the elite soldiers pushed toward the goblin squad leader. Axedwarf Mosus Graniteright and speardwarf Nomal Socketinked kept the elite enemy busy, while frontline archers Ast and Ast II Bustcrystals shot at the goblin, with the elder landing a headshot.



Meanwhile, in the southern trade tunnel, Deler Anguishepages and the South Watch halted a troll advance. He and his 2nd-in-command, Stakud II, were quite the duo, attacking trolls in concert and dispatching them with grim efficiency.



Everything went by the numbers, with this siege's defense the best in decades! All merchants were safe and accounted for, far fewer goblins made it into the trade tunnels, and an elite enemy archer was slain without any dwarven casualties.

A New Leaf

Pop. 187, Late Spring of 359 (Year 108)

For the first time in Relicshield's history, elf merchants who were offered wood by mistake didn't refuse further trading! All the dwarves who were about to haul away their rejected goods were stunned when the elves still showed interest in the mountain of copper toys on display. Trading recommenced, with the elves quite pleased once all the goods had changed hands. Perhaps the immortals have turned a new leaf. And to think, such solemn creatures utterly enchanted with mere children's toys! Will wonders never cease!

Dragon Instinct

Pop. 187, Early Spring of 359 (Year 108)

Correspondence with scholars of the Mountainhome brought up the possibility of using dragon hatchlings as guards in the trade tunnels. However, given their proximity to civilians, they would require training to curb their instinct to breathe fire. Testing didn't go so well, but fortunately this was discovered with a goblin prisoner rather than a dwarf!

Marksdwarves in Mourning

Pop. 187, Early Spring of 359 (Year 108)

The marksdwarves of the fortress lost the greatest among their ranks, Litast Twinkledurns. One of the first steel-clad marksdwarves of Relicshield, he fought right alongside the elite melee soldiers of the Mountainhome, rather than behind the safety of fortifications. Aside from the occasional headshot, most marksdwarves have been known more for their suppressive ability,with ranged kill counts generally between 10 and 30. Litast slew 74 enemies of Relicshield before passing away peacefully in his sleep. Early in his career, he wielded the artifact chestnut bow Fameclefts, but took down most of his foes with the artifact chestnut crossbow, Mountaindeclined.

Silver and Copper

Pop. 188, Late Spring of 358 (Year 107)

The Mountainhome is now dabbling in silver and copper crafts. Though less valuable than gold and platinum goods, the ore goblinite is a renewable resource. Plus, it gives the workers of the Deep Forge something to occupy their time when they're not producing steel.

Pass in Peace

Pop. 188, Early Spring of 358 (Year 107)

Better records are now being kept for when citizens pass away. The news of death is now flagged for immediate perusal, whereas before, it was usually buried under a heap of non-essential correspondence ([CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:UCR_A] was changed to [CITIZEN_DEATH:A_D:D_D:UCR_A:BOX:P:R] in announcement.txt so that citizen deaths cause the game to pause).



Catten Workmyth and Unib Flagblaze passed away just a few yards from each other. Both were well-known in the fortress. Catten worked for decades in law enforcement alongside the late Captain of the Guard, Urdim Channeltree, while Unib Flagblaze, who officially started the Centennial Games, was the fortress's best miner. Both died peacefully of old age, with Unib falling in the middle of brewing booze, a truly fitting way for a dwarf to pass on to the afterlife.

Dwarfettes in the Military

Pop. 190, Late Winter of 357 (Year 106)

Relicshield has a long and proud tradition of females serving in the military. From 2nd Commander Olivine of the Original Seven to current Commander Dishmab, their contributions have been vital to the success of the Mountainhome. However, the recent baby boom has necessitated some changes in policy.

Normally Relicshield has about 2-7 children at any given point. Over the past year, though, over 20 children have been born, bringing the current total to 28. The number and sheer frequency of dwarves taking maternity leave was disruptive to military scheduling and planning. The order for reservists to patrol the walls was even forgotten amongst the spree of new births, allowing the Evils of Spray to push further than normal into the trade tunnels.

King Urist II and Mayor Mosus II Lanterngaze-Anguishedpages discussed possible changes with input from the citizenry at large. It wasn't long before a satisfactory compromise was struck. Henceforth, married dwarfettes are no longer eligible for military or reservist duty. However, unmarried females and widows remain more than welcome.

The Sieges of Shocking

Pop. 190, Late Winter of 357 (Year 106)

The Evils of Spray launched a major offensive, spilling into the trade tunnels from all directions.



While not the largest attack from the goblins in pure numbers, the coordination, speed, and sheer ferocity was frightening. A war grizzly was the only casualty, but had this happened earlier in the year, the dwarven caravan would've been completely destroyed.

Bones of the Dragon

Pop. 189, Late Winter of 357 (Year 106)

Another minotaur made the mistake of entering the trade tunnels. It was quickly taken down. Though quite a large beast, curious dwarves decided to weigh the corpse against the skeleton of Istrath, the largest dragon to dwell in Relicshield.



With merely his bones weighing nearly 10x as much as a minotaur corpse, Istrath was truly a dragon to be admired for his terrible majesty.

Dwarfling Fashion

Pop. 189, Late Winter of 357 (Year 106)

Despite the sartorial aspirations of the late Duke Phyllite, most of the Mountainhome's citizens are happy enough with a basic outfit of tunic, trousers, and shoes. Not so for little Zon II Anguishedpages.



It's unclear how he managed to get a hold of the items normally tossed into the dump after a siege, since the kindergarten burrow is far from the front lines. Perhaps he made a mad dash for the clothes while while released from the burrow temporarily for a few mood.

Return of the Monarchy

Pop. 168, Late Summer of 357 (Year 106)

Commander Dishmab's brother, Prince Urist II Shootwondered arrived with the most recent wave of migrants. After a three-decade interregnum due to the Riots of 323, the monarchy was restored. Mosus II Lanterngaze-Anguishedpages was more than happy to step down as acting regent, though the new king begged that she stay on as mayor to help run the kingdom.





Meanwhile, Lolor III and Edem IV welcomed their second child to the world, Edem V Claspletter!

Another Princess

Pop. 160, Early Spring of 357 (Year 106)

Commander Dishmab was reunited with one of her sisters, Iteb Shootwondered-Bootsquashed. The younger princess arrived with 6 companions, eager to join the Mountainhome.

New Arrivals

Pop. 154, Early Autumn of 356 (Year 105)

9 migrants arrived, including Commander Dishmab's father-in-law Zuntir Vesselbrain and Deler Anguishedpages's cousin Alath Manorcloistered.



Captain Zan II conducted background checks on all the migrants, clearing all 9 off of her vampire checklist.

Don't Shoot!

Pop. 145, Early Autumn of 356 (Year 105)



Unib Tautmerchants-Keypointed had just returned to patrol duty from maternity leave when Osna arrived. Unib immediately began to shoot at the dragon before she heard a great clamor from her fellow dwarves, "don't shoot, don't shoot!"





She pulled back to let the dragon pass to the northwest gate, where it was soon captured.

Channeltree Surprise

Pop. 145, Early Autumn of 355 (Year 104)

To the surprise and delight of the fortress, Urdim Channeltree's widow, Meng, gave birth to a baby boy 7 months after her husband's death. Sakzul's birth was a glimmer of hope after his father's tragic death.

5th Generation

Pop. 142, Late Summer of 355 (Year 104)

Lolor III and Edem IV were blessed with the birth of their baby girl, Lolor IV Claspletter, the first 5th generation dwarf of Relicshield!

Century Baby

Pop. 140, Late Summer of 355 (Year 104)

The fortress welcomed Vutok II Channelelder, the first baby born since the first Centennial.

The New Captain

Pop. 139, Mid-Spring of 355 (Year 104)

Catten Workmyth, Urdim's deputy for many decades, was the first choice for taking the reins of the Fortress Guard. However, at 163 years of age, Catten politely declined. Zan II Socketinked was on the short list of other potentials. Her calm, professional demeanor during the four-way courtship of Edem IV Claspletter didn't win any hearts, but it did impress those looking for an impartial, unemotional upholder of the law. She accepted the nomination and was bequeathed Urdim Channeltree's treasured artifacts, Stretchedwarnings, a tower-cap crossbow, and Bitetrotted the Dimpled Mine, a suit of alpaca leather armor.

Captain of the Guard

Pop. 139, Late Winter of 354 (Year 103)

The citizens of Relicshield were shocked and struck with grief when Captain Urdim Channeltree fell in battle while defending the western trade tunnel.



Urdim Channeltree migrated to the fortress in 253, 2 years after it was founded. He was appointed to the position of Sheriff in 255 when he was only 26 years old. He was then promoted to Captain of the Guard in 269 at the age of 40. With 99 years of service in law enforcement, Urdim was well-respected by all.

Upholding the law was only one of Urdim's passions. He also had a legendary flair for cooking. When he wasn't busy bringing criminals to justice, he could be found in the kitchens, busily churning out masterful meals with blazing speed. Urdim, late patriarch of the Channeltrees, will be sorely missed.

Summer Wedding

Pop. 140, Mid-Summer of 354 (Year 103)

Edem IV Claspletter and Lolor III Earthenbreaths were married in a small, but joyous ceremony. As promised by Mayor Regent Mosus II, the newlyweds have been given plenty of time off to start a family.

Sore Loser

Endok Anguishedpages certainly didn't take too well to losing...



By late Spring, she revealed her creation, which was at least semi-useful.




Impeded in her goals and passed at the last moment, the name "Trammelpasses" was fitting.

You Snooze, You Lose

A month later...

Endok became complacent while in the lead. When Edem went to sleep, she decided to flaunt her certain win, talking long into the night with the other bachelorettes. It proved to be her undoing. When Edem woke up, Endok was far too tired to continue her relentless flirtation. She went to sleep, thinking her status safe. Zon, in second place, tried to press the advantage, but Lolor III's candid, and some would say crude, demeanor charmed the bachelor and won his heart!

The Bachelor

Pop. 140, Early Spring of 354 (Year 103)

The population of Relicshield has been in a slow, but steady decline over the past few years. To combat the trend, Mayor Regent Mosus II Lanterngaze-Anguishedpages has offered several benefits to courting and recently married dwarves, including paid leave from work and exemption from military service.

The most eligible bachelor of the fortress is Edem IV Claspletter, the 22-year-old grandson of Relicshield's first dragon battlemaster, Edem II.



The four bachelorettes currently vying for his affections are Endok Anguishedpages, Lolor III Earthenbreaths, Zon Channeltree, and Zan II Socketinked.



A holiday suite all to their own and plenty of time to socialize, bets are being taken all around the fort on who will win Edem IV's heart. With all four bachelorettes considered beauties, it's their traits that set them apart.

Endok, a 22-year-old traditionalist from an influential family, is a favorite among older bettors. Still, Endok is far from stodgy and still enjoys trying new things.

Zon is another frontrunner with a fine pedigree. Friendly and modest, the 23-year-old is nearly as popular as Endok.

Zan II is a calm and collected 24-year-old, who is rarely moved to anger and able to handle stress. All admirable traits, though she comes across as a bit dull and aloof for most bettors.

Finally, there's Lolor III who often feels discouraged, has a lack of self-discipline, and doesn't go out of her way to help others. Still, she's almost as assertive as Zan II. This 26-year-old might prove to be the dark horse of this courting competition.

Up to Code

Pop. 142, Mid-Winter of 353 (Year 102)

The dumpsite that led to Urdim Channeltree's broken arm was finally brought up to current safety codes, but not before one final accident. Uvash Crescenttours, one of Relicshield's best frontline marksdwarves, was killed :(.

Construction Delay

Pop. 143, Late Autumn of 353 (Year 102)

A floor cover was ordered for the steps leading to one of the southeast dumpsites, but construction was delayed after noticing some clothes on the stairwell that was about to be blocked. Captain of the Guard Urdim Channeltree wasn't paying attention and ventured too close to the danger zone. Luckily, he only suffered a broken arm.

Spice It Up

Pop. 143, Early Autumn of 353 (Year 102)

After some initial difficulties with using quarry bush leaves in conjunction with other ingredients, the chefs of Relicshield have fine-tuned their spicing technique.

Pair of Arrows

Pop. 143, Late Summer of 353 (Year 102)

The Evils of Spray once again stepped up their attacks. Elite archers have become more common, with one killing Ezumi Freeoil and Ingish II Claspletter, granddaughter of Edem II, in the most recent siege.





A massive enemy host had gathered at the east wall. The East Watch, with a few soldiers from the North Watch, battled their way to the bowgob, while the rest of the military guarded the trade tunnels. Two more dwarves would've lost their lives, but the defenders finally broke through the enemy lines and slew the goblin squad leader.

Atis Blockadetempted and Vucar Gillhandle were rescued, though they each had a pair of arrows embedded in them.



Apparently, Vucar got sick of staying in the hospital and crawled his way out before his treatment was truly finished. He was brought back to the hospital, diagnosed again, then given a crutch.